awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
