I didn't shave. On purpose
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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