is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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