Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
