You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize