she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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