I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
