Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
