I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Alive.
So much puke
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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