i just wanna soil my oats bro
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
All I want is dick and wine.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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