Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
