once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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