I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
