saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
