Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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