I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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