I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
