pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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