he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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