If i come over, it means nothing
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
