my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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