it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
