If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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