your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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