Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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