matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
