this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
