So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My life is pants optional.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
