Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
