i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
