How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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