do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
