I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
