4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize