my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
