her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
