You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
