did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize