come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
