Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I will be naked everywhere
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
