I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
