If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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