it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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