It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
