I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
