Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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