I think I died a long time ago.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
