Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
