What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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