Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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