my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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