please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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