I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
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