so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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