Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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