At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
