you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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