just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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