I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize